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Oprah used her listening skills to her advantage in her interviews by creating a safe and trusting environment for her guests. She was able to identify what her counterpart actually needed and made them feel safe enough to talk about what they really wanted. She was a master listener, able to anticipate what a speaker was about to say. This allowed her to get her guests to talk about their deepest secrets, using a smile to ease the tension and signaling empathy with subtle verbal and non-verbal cues.
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Do you dread negotiations for fear of the conflict involved? The fact is that every aspect of our lives involves some form of negotiation. Expert FBI...
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Never split the difference—it leads to dreadful outcomes. If you want to wear your black shoes, but your spouse wants you to wear the brown ones, splitting the difference means you end up wearing one black shoe and one brown. Compromising is a cop-out, a way to feel safe. Start any negotiation by listening; it's the only way to create enough trust and safety for a real conversation, to identify what your counterpart actually needs and to get them to feel safe enough to talk about what they really want. Practice good listening—it will help you develop emotional empathy. Researchers at Princeton University used an fMRI brain-scan to discover that people who paid the most attention, i.e., really good listeners, could actually anticipate what a speaker was about to say. In her daily TV show, Oprah was a master listener. She was able to get the person she was interviewing to talk about their deepest secrets, using a smile to ease the tension, signaling empathy with subtle verbal and no...
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