The concept of 'never split the difference' contrasts with traditional negotiation strategies in that it discourages compromise. Traditional negotiation often involves finding a middle ground or splitting the difference to reach an agreement. However, 'never split the difference' suggests that this approach can lead to unsatisfactory outcomes. Instead, it encourages listening to the other party's needs and wants, creating trust and safety for a real conversation, and developing emotional empathy. This approach aims to achieve a more desirable outcome for both parties.

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Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss

Do you dread negotiations for fear of the conflict involved? The fact is that every aspect of our lives involves some form of negotiation. Expert FBI...

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Never split the difference—it leads to dreadful outcomes. If you want to wear your black shoes, but your spouse wants you to wear the brown ones, splitting the difference means you end up wearing one black shoe and one brown. Compromising is a cop-out, a way to feel safe. Start any negotiation by listening; it's the only way to create enough trust and safety for a real conversation, to identify what your counterpart actually needs and to get them to feel safe enough to talk about what they really want. Practice good listening—it will help you develop emotional empathy. Researchers at Princeton University used an fMRI brain-scan to discover that people who paid the most attention, i.e., really good listeners, could actually anticipate what a speaker was about to say. In her daily TV show, Oprah was a master listener. She was able to get the person she was interviewing to talk about their deepest secrets, using a smile to ease the tension, signaling empathy with subtle verbal and no...

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In a salary negotiation, it's important to be well-prepared and know your worth. Research beforehand what is common in your industry and position.

Start the negotiation by listening. Try to understand what your employer or potential employer needs and wants. Use this information to argue why you deserve the salary you're aiming for.

Compromises are not always the best solution. If you feel that the offered salary does not match your skills and experiences, you should be ready to negotiate hard.

Practice good listening and emotional empathy. This can help you better understand the needs and desires of your counterpart and achieve a stronger negotiating position.

The concept of 'never split the difference' can be applied in conflict resolution by not compromising but rather understanding the needs and wants of the other party. Start by listening to create trust and safety for a real conversation. This will help you identify what your counterpart actually needs and get them to feel safe enough to talk about what they really want. Good listening skills can help develop emotional empathy, which can be beneficial in conflict resolution.

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