Question
The concept of "mirroring" in "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss refers to the technique of repeating the last three words or the most important one-to-three words of the other person's statement. This technique encourages the other person to bond with you, continue the conversation, and eventually reveal their strategy. It is effective even with forceful type-A personalities. The process involves using a soothing voice, starting with "I'm sorry...", mirroring their words, leaving a long pause of four or more seconds to let the mirror technique work, and repeating. It's a way of saying "help me understand" without triggering defensiveness.
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Mirror what the other person is saying: repeat their last three words (or most important one-to-three words). People are drawn to what is similar and fear what is different. By mirroring what someone says, you encourage them to bond with you, to keep talking, and ultimately to reveal their strategy. Mirroring even works on the most forceful type-A personality, the person who looks for consent rather than collaboration: use the soothing "late night FM DJ" voice, start with "I'm sorry...", mirror their words, leave a long pause of four or more seconds so that the mirror works its magic, and repeat. This tactic is a way of saying "help me understand" without triggering your counterpart's defensiveness.
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