How to criticise and not be hated for it

To criticise without being hated for it, it's important to follow a few key principles:

Firstly, always start with a positive comment. This sets a positive tone and makes the person more receptive to your feedback.

Secondly, avoid using the word "but" after a positive statement as it negates the positive comment. Instead, use "and" to connect your thoughts.

Thirdly, make your criticism constructive. Instead of pointing out what was done wrong, suggest how it can be done better next time.

Lastly, be empathetic and considerate. Understand that everyone makes mistakes and use criticism as a tool for growth, not as a weapon to put someone down.

Remember, the goal of criticism should be to help the other person improve, not to make them feel bad.

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Direct criticism causes resentment and puts people on the defensive. By avoiding giving honest praise with a qualifying "but" that leads into a negative observation, we can often make people more receptive. "You ran great today, BUT you would have won if you had run harder." is much different than: "You ran great today, AND if you run harder next time you will probably win!" What a difference a word makes.

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How to Win Friends and Influence People

Written over 80 years ago, this is a book that is as relative today as it was when it was first written. The principles are a broad mix of personal an...

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